A Real Blow-Out

This week I am two months pregnant. Along with the barfing, nausea, mood swings, frequent bathroom trips, and fatigue, everything else seems normal. Well, somewhat.

Unfortunately with this fatigue all day long comes an equally long night of insomnia. I can be up all hours of the night and then right when I do fall asleep, my body wakes me up because it's time to pee. Right now I frequent bathroom trips every 15-20 minutes. Doesn't make for a super restful night!

Aside from not sleeping, I have noticed that I have taken on a new and more offensive trucker-like quality. I have gas like no body's business! It's pretty revolting. I have started busting ass so much that even when I'm out in public I'll just let one go without the ability to control it and hold back! And, my anal audio seems to be turned all the way up! Yup, my quakes seem to be a 9.5 on the rectal scale these days. So embarrassing!

Friday while I was shopping in Target I bent over to pick up a picture frame that I liked and ripped the loudest fart I think I have ever heard. Just when I thought I was in the clear, two people walked by and stared at me as if I had just shit my pants. Thank goodness my husband was a few isles down because I think this fart could have been grounds for divorce. Seriously. I single handily am contributing to a strong percentage of air pollution with the amount of gas I'm producing.

So to sum it up, the last two weeks have been filled with TONS of colon quack and no sleep. Not a friendly combo. Hopefully this gets better soon. If not, then I would like to make a public apology for my stinkies in advance. Here's what I have learned this week: Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.