My Husband Said "Show me your boobs", and I pulled up my skirt.

I'm seriously wondering how it's possible to jump an entire cup size in a mere 5 weeks of pregnancy...

Now, I tried weighing out the pros and con's of this rapid influx of boob growth and here is what I came up with:

PROS
Bigger, more supple, Victoria Secret-like breasts.

CONS

You nipples look like they are the size of silver dollar pancakes from Denny's.

No one on earth can touch them without you wanting to stab out their eyeballs.

When the hell did they turn this shad of brown?????!!!!????

Under wire bras (the ones that push them up and make them look hot) DON'T WORK and hurt.

Unless I want to switch to a 34-Long, I have to stop walking around without a bra.

Oh, and don't be surprised if you sprout a random hair or two around your pancake (I can't make that up.) WHAT. THE. FUCK.

Conclusion? Growing ta-ta's ain't nothing to write home about. If your husband can't fondle them without you feeling like you want to yank his wanker to his knees to make him feel similar pain, it's not worth all the fuss. Oh, and I also realized if I don't want to look like I could nurse a snake standing up by the end of this pregnancy, Ill have to drop ANOTHER seven thousand dollars to lift these suckers back up to where I put them 3 years ago. Well Dr. Saltz, it looks as if you're going to the Bahamas (ON ME) yet again.